Bonepicking: Bike Racers Vs Jews

'Exercise? We don't need no stinking Jane Fonda!'






So who is tougher - roadies or Ultra-Orthodox Jews? It's a question on the mind of everyone, so let's not shy away from what medical science has to say on this conundrum.





In this bone density study
(ordinalpos=1&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsPanel.Pubmed_DiscoveryPanel.Pubmed_Discovery_RA&linkpos=1&log$=relatedarticles&logdbfrom=pubmed) fifty young Hasidim pulled down their black pants and were examined by experts seeking bone mineral density data. In order to be thorough, crotches were investigated first-off, just to be clear there were no Yentl-benders confusing the sample.


In this study of roadie bone density, by Smathers, Bemben & Bemben (most likely godless gentiles), http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11331729, road racers with over nine years (= 7000 pp. of Talmud) of racing under their belts, so to speak, were also tested for bone mineral density but not tzitzit-capaciity. Both groups reveal low-ish bone mineral density, and both pray excessively, leaning forward for lengthy periods, but roadies carry much lighter carbon fibre prayerbooks and have a much more aerodynamic tallis.

As to which group could field a better decathalon team, data projections are unclear. Sorry.

In addition to detailed examinations of Hasidic crotches (itself so unlikely as to be worthy of an entire blog post), speculation was made as to possible causes of osteo-whateveritscalled. "Modest clothing" was cited as it blocks out the sun's rays and the crucia vitamin E. Kosher dining habits were also blamed as "milk products" aren't eaten until six hours after meat is digested.
During that long six hour window, lycra-wearing road racers can plan and execute daring raids on large batches of Hasidic yogurt, a highly sought-after dietary enhancement by men who shave their legs.